Random News: September 9

Shoplifting Lobster? Deportation from Georgia? This isn’t a robbery! Crazy wildlife. Big Brother Expands. California Bans Cellphone in Prison. The Hazards of Reality T.V.?

Really, Shoplifting Lobster? This man decided to stuff live lobster in his pants and try to steal them. Bright

Georgia’s Immigration Review Panel. The most “powerful” elected officials in Georgia (in the legislative and executive branches of government) nominated members of the Immigration Panel. What’s unclear to me is what we’re investing in with this panel? This AJC article describes the panel as “aimed at helping curb illegal immigration in Georgia.” What? Are we proposing internment camps? Forced deportation to Alabama? I’m confused. States don’t have that authority last I checked.

Gumby’s Got a Gun. Clerk Doubtful. A Gumby costumed individual threatened robbery in California. The Clerk doubted that Gumby could hold a gun, much less shoot it.

Moose up a tree? The truth is stranger than fiction. Drunk moose up tree.

Big brother, not just government. Apparently, the Mall of America has it own goon squad looking for terrorists. And the government is listening to them. George Orwell was right.

Futility! “Contraband cellphones have proliferated inside California lockups in recent years as inmates have paid up to $1,000 for the devices to communicate with the outside world.” Really, cell phones aren’t already contraband? Yet another law proposed, if signed by the governor of California, would make it illegal to have a cellphone in prison with a 6 month sentence and $5000 fine. How would one pay the fine while in prison? Just askin’.

Back to Actual Reality? With the end of Kate Plus Eight (the post-divorce successor the Jon and Kate Plus Eight), Kate Gosselin has eight kids and no job. That sounds like reality t.v. Ms. Gosselin is struggling to figure out how to support her brood. Welcome to the new America. Apparently, “reality t.v. star” does not help on the job application. Perhaps there’s a lesson in this story, somewhere.

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